Yeah write virgins!

There were three virgins on the grid this week, the most we’ve had in weeks. Thank you to everyone who’s been spreading the good word of yeah write and thanks to the virgins for working your way around the grid. Please join us again next week.

Reader votes

Three readers submitted complete yeah write vote-o-rama tracking spreadsheets and their votes, along with three yeah write editors, combined for this week’s jury panel prize. Thanks, guys, for your commitment and hard work.

Let’s do some mathin’

Real quickly, let’s put your editor scores into perspective. There were six scoring readers and editors this week. So if you take your total score beneath your thumbnail and divide it by six, you’ll get an idea of where you landed in the yeah write criteria.

Intangibles, such as a reader’s emotional connection to the theme of the piece, can sometimes override pure numbers and push the reader toward selecting an actual favorite from lower scoring entries. Which is how editors’ picks very often than not come from the middle of the grid instead of the top.

[check_list]

• 12         The author meets all of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
• 10-11   The author meets most of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
• 7-9       The author meets more than half of the criteria for a yeah write submission
•   6         The author meets half of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
•  3-5      The author meets few of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
• 0-2       The author does not meet the criteria for a winning yeah write submission

[/check_list]

Jessie of Jester Queen earned 69 points. Dividing by 6, she earned an 11.5 on the editors’ scale: the author met most of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission.

Stacie of Snaps and Bits earned 62 points for a 10.3, also meeting most of the criteria. Yeah write editor Cindy, competing on the challenge grid for the first time since this self-scoring on the spreadsheets opened up the opportunity for editors to return to the grid, earned 61 points for a 10 on the scale. In her notes on the scoring sheet, she admitted her own post had a weak central conflict which, I guess, the voting panel overlooked or forgave. Cindy rounds out the top row three.

We each take notes on the entries—I call them liner notes since reading the liner notes on a new album or a CD was my favorite part of buying music when I was younger and, as I get the spreadsheets from the editors, their notes are my favorite part of the tracker. For something different this week, for the jury panel winner and managing editor’s pick, I’m sharing those liner notes so you can get a better feel for our thought processes.

[divider_header_h3]Jury prize winner[/divider_header_h3]

Learning Curve

Jessie Powell of The Jester Queen

Editor 1 liner notes: Jessie has a gift with slices of life. Great scene setting, great dialogue, great characters. A big so-what. (ed.: we love it when our writers nail the so-what)

Editor 2 liner notes: I was so afraid for her daughter—that she would be classified incorrectly. How lucky to have found an awesome person—and to have the cash to pay her. She’s a story-teller, and it was one of the few I didn’t have to force myself to read through. Still…snip snip snip. (ed.: “snip snip snip” means the piece could have used another round of editing)

Editor 3 liner notes: well-paced, suspenseful, I could feel the little girl’s triumph. Solid final sentence. 

[divider_header_h3]contributing editors picks[/divider_header_h3]

[image width=”125″ height=”130″ align=”left” lightbox=”true” caption=”” title=””]https://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Kristin_profile.jpg[/image]

editor’s pick by Kristin W

Complexities and chicken soup by Ashley Austrew

I’m choosing Ashley Austrew’s “Complexities and Chicken Soup” this week. I found this post easy to read, relatable, and authentic. From the beginning, when Ashley avoids human contact by choosing the self-checkout aisle, the feeling of “just leave me alone, I’m sick” that we’ve all experienced is palpable. The teenager’s comment takes us by surprise, just as it does Ashley. And soon after, when she questions whether the compliment was sincere of a cruel joke, we travel right along the road of self-doubt with Ashley. The rejection, “What kind of a sick asshole was that girl?” is perfect for the mood of the piece (she’s got a cold, remember?), and her close critique of her naked self in the mirror is raw even while it’s matter-of-fact. Clinical.

 What I especially liked about Ashley’s piece was her plain use of language to convey strong emotion. It’s not florid and overdone; it’s just straight-to-the-point. Even Ashley’s breakthrough, her acceptance of the simple compliment, is stated in simple language: “This was as good as it’s going to get…To hell with me…I finally accepted the compliment.”

 If I were to work on this post, I’d go against what I just said and try to plump up a few of the more important sentences. Choose the most important lines from the shower/mirror scene, and then strengthen the observations of the body reflected. Do we need the shower and shaving line? If so, make it important. The leg goes from pine cone to plush? The dust from the day circles the drain and exits? Let the reader see the “fat on the tops of my arms” in detail. Puckered or buttery? You get the idea.

 Congratulations, Ashley!

Voters’ mean average: 9.8

 

[image width=”125″ height=”130″ align=”left” lightbox=”true” caption=”” title=””]https://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Reedster_profile.jpg[/image]

 

editor’s pick by Cindy R

We Were Friends by Michelle Longo at The Journey

In Michelle Longo’s “We Were Friends,” simple flirtation takes a dark turn in a story that never tells us what to feel. Michelle doesn’t fall for the temptation to tie everything up in a neat bow, maybe with a final expository paragraph telling us what she learned from the experience, or how she feels about it now, or how we should react. She doesn’t meander into the incident by framing it as a view of “older Michelle looking back on younger Michelle” with a two paragraph set-up. Instead, she jumps right in with a punchy, active first sentence and a short first paragraph and we hold our breath as the tension builds.

 It’s hard for adults to sound authentic as teenagers, and Michelle is spot on as a late adolescent, relating, without embarrassment or caveat, her initial enjoyment and later tiring of her admirer’s antics. But it’s the mood that brings this piece to life. She elicits discomfort in the reader without pandering to us, so we feel the growing claustrophobia of the climactic moment with no way out, just like young Michelle. When the scene breaks we finally exhale, but we never get a chance to hug it out. She ends as she begins – with a short and simply and powerful final line: “We were never really friends after that.” I challenge all Yeah Write authors to follow Michelle’s lead – show don’t tell, and let your stories stand on their own without asides and explanation. As Michelle demonstrates, less is more.

 Voters’ mean average: 9.3

 

[divider_header_h3]managing editor’s pick[/divider_header_h3]

[image width=”125″ height=”130″ align=”left” lightbox=”true” caption=”” title=””]https://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Erica_profile.jpg[/image]

editor’s pick by Erica M

Pictures Not So Perfect by Cathy at Cathy’s Voice Now

Editor 1 liner notes: Who knows why this spoke to me, but it did. Maybe because the ending wasn’t wrapped in a big red bow. I was expecting the whole “then my daughter patiently organized my life’s memories as we fell in love all over again over coffee” bullshit, but it ended in the same shrug I give so many of my projects.

Editor 2 liner notes: Not the greatest post ever but I found it really charming and liked it quite a bit. Didn’t need to spell out obsessive compulsive. Loved the showing /not telling of contrast between mother & daughter—the frustration and the mild shame.

Editor 3 liner notes: Just fine. Not really a story as just a telling. Less dialogue, more emotion.

Voters’ mean average: 9.3

 

Honorable mentions

In no particular order, these bloggers were mentioned in the editors’ notes as close runners-up:

[check_list]

• Millennial Monster
• Kathleen at Michigan Left
• Christina at Finally Mom

[/check_list] 

Did you leave a thoughtful comment on all 28 posts? This badge is for you.

Thank you thank you to those of you who braved work hours, firewalls, CAPTCHA and comment moderation to comment on every single one of the 28 posts on the grid.

Please grab that green badge out of the sidebar and display it proudly. You are one of the best parts of yeah write and our community thrives on your enthusiasm.

Win-Win

The thumbnails are now sorted in the grid from most editor points awarded to the least. 

In the case of a tie, the thumbnails are additionally sorted by page views. Do not be discouraged if your blog has landed near the bottom of the grid; just getting on the grid is an accomplishment these days. The fun lies in getting better exposure for your blog and in the spirit of competition as incentive to improve your writing and blogging skills. It’s a win-win for everybody involved.

Thanks again, everybody, for linking up, for reading, for accepting the weekly challenge. And for making yeah write the most welcoming spot on the Interwebs for writers who blog and bloggers who write.

Yeah write #78 opens Tuesday. Bring your best stuff. Until then, please stop by Flood’s speakeasy for even more posts to read and enjoy.

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