In the span of a breath, everything changes.

We all have our moments of epiphany. Cataclysmic shifts in personality, thought structure, aha or eureka moments.

We also all change slowly, over time, as we develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

Both of these types of change are rich fodder for our creative nonfiction pieces. But how do you write about something so intimate without seeming, well, navel-gazey? How do you communicate something that personal without losing your “so what” as the reader distances themself from the piece? For this month’s nonfiction technique we’re going to examine introspection and how to write about it without getting boring or preachy.

The most important thing to remember when writing about yourself, for others to read, is that you have to give them something to connect to, and you have to do it early on. Maybe it’s a universal feeling: loneliness, anger, joy, anticipation. Maybe it’s a sense of awkwardness or a common childhood object, game, or even a smell or sound. Find the connection with your reader early, so you can take them with you on the journey.

It’s not all about you.

One quick way to alienate a reader is to only use “I” statements. “I” statements are great when you’re having an argument, because they take the other person off the defensive by making them feel that it’s not all about them being attacked. On the other hand, the last thing you want to do in an introspective essay is foster a sense of disconnection with your reader. “I think” “I feel” “I want” “I needed” – those phrases all isolate your reader rather than drawing them in.

Papa, don’t preach

Sorry about the earworm there. I couldn’t help it. But look. You’ve had some kind of mystical insight into how the world works. You suddenly know that it’s important to get a good night’s sleep, your parents really did know better, you should always turn your wheels toward the curb when parking downhill… but think for a minute about how you want to communicate that. Imagine yourself for a moment as Teenaged You, listening to your essay. If you are being strictly prescriptive (you should, you must, it’s important to), consider how hard your eyes would roll. What if, instead, you shared the way you came to your understanding, rather than leading with a command?

Walk a mile in my shoes

I can’t say this enough: a good introspective essay connects with the reader and tells them something about themself as well as you. That means you must must must (look at me being prescriptive) find the universal in the personal. And that’s what it’s really all about, isn’t it? Your epiphany is you coming to a universal truth, and wanting to share your truth with others to help them find their way to it. The more ways you can find to connect to your reader, the more ways you can put them in your shoes and then show them what they are feeling and why, the more successful your introspective writing will be.

I’m saving this tip for last and putting it out here because there is no possible way to make it boldface allcaps important enough: show, don’t tell.

Yeah, that old storytelling tip from your fiction writing applies to nonfiction as well. If you tell your reader “I felt cold and sad” it’s not nearly as effective as telling them “There was a hole in my snowboots and icy water leaked over my toes, but that wasn’t the worst part: Christine wasn’t there to listen to me complain, and she never would be again.”