Welcome (back) to the Scarlet Quill Society!

This year at YeahWrite our free workshop focuses on everything BUT the writing, with an editorial series that’ll take the words right out of your mouth and put them on the page. Of course, we’re also including some tips on writing so that the eventual edits to your story won’t be the heartbreaking kind where you have to remove an entire character or plot arc and re-evaluate every interaction in your 300,000 word novel.

Check out the bottom of this post (and every post) for a roadmap to the year. We’ll be updating it with links each month as the posts go live, so that you can navigate through easily. And speaking of navigation, don’t worry: our Navigating Prompts workshop from last year hasn’t gone anywhere. You still have a handy tool to refer to when you’re stumped by a prompt or need help on how to approach it or what judges might be thinking as they read your story.

The biggest bonus of the Scarlet Quill Society is that there are actual club meetings. That’s right! Once a month (usually on the Second Sunday) we’ll get together with you and talk about that month’s subject, answer questions, and record the chat for posterity. So if you have an easier time taking in information that way, or if you’re left with lingering questions after a monthly topical post, you’ve got a chance to get the full picture! Check out the full description at the main Scarlet Quill Society page.

DNF

There’s no worse review for any book, story, or essay than “DNF” – did not finish. It’s a clear indication that whatever you were trying to do, well, you didn’t do it.  This month we’re going to talk about some of the really big errors that are likely to make a reader set a book aside, and how to correct them so that readers really care about your characters and the world they live in. Caution: this means you’ll need to put in some extra work.

Editors, if you’re reading this, these are big mistakes that you should point out as early in the process as possible so that they can be corrected. Yes, I meant those bold italics. It’s infrequent that something is universally “wrong” instead of “a good idea that’s being mishandled here” but these? These are in almost every case wrong. We’ll give you some suggestions for how to point them out diplomatically.

Let’s start with some pacing errors, because we’re already thinking about pacing after last month’s post, right? Right? Anyone? Yeah, I thought so.

Infodumps

Look, we get it. Your reader needs 50 new vocabulary words, an understanding of galactic politics, and some basic physics information before they can really grasp what you’re writing. But if you put all your information in one place, they’re going to forget it. Think about how you learned in school (are still learning, some of you, whether in school or out in the wider world). You were introduced to a concept. Then you did something with the concept that reinforced and deepened your understanding of it. Then you were introduced to a concept that built on it. Just like you didn’t learn to speak or write by memorizing the dictionary first, seeing the information introduced slowly and in context will help cement it in the reader’s mind.

When you see it, say this: This section is very information-dense. Let’s look for some places in the story to introduce [whatever it is] more organically. I’ve flagged the first times in the story that the reader needs these pieces of info; let’s consider moving the information closer to where it’s needed to ensure retention.  

Nonstop action

Action is great. It’s so great. We love action. But action without a pause doesn’t feel suspenseful, it’s just monotonous. Yes, nonstop action seems like it should build tension throughout, but you need to give your reader some space to assimilate what just happened, a little room to catch their breath, and a chance to bond with your characters. Think of your favorite movie or book or show.  Now pick out your favorite NOT-action scene. That’s at LEAST as important to your ability to understand what’s going on, right? Don’t forget those. Just because you understand what’s going on and who your characters are doesn’t mean your readers do. Give them a chance to really let it sink in once in a while, and they’ll find your worlds more memorable.

This mistake can be in physical actions, with fight scene after fight scene, or emotional actions, where every scene is dialed up to eleven and every character is at an emotional extreme no matter what is happening. There’s no quicker way to get a reader to start skimming through your story or essay instead of engaging with it than sameness, no matter what’s the “same” about it.

When you see it, say this: This section is pretty consistently intense. I’ve flagged a few places where we might be able to introduce a break from the action to give readers a change of pace. (Alternately: this section is pretty consistently lowkey. This might be a good time to introduce some of your foreshadowing just to remind the reader that there’s action coming, and keep them turning the pages.)  

OK. Those are good things to consider avoiding but not necessarily dealbreakers, right? We’ve all fought through an infodump or two, or set a book aside to take the break we weren’t getting and think about what was going on. And it’s easy to go back and add some time to decompress in your story. But how about these character-driven traps for writers? How long would it take to edit them out of your work? Would there be anything left?

Bad guys who are evilly evil bad evil guys

It seems intuitive, right? Bad guys are bad? But there are more interesting and complex ways to present an antagonist for your story than to just have them be evilly evil evil all the time. At its most basic level, an antagonist is someone who wants a thing that’s incompatible with what the protagonist wants. Yes, sometimes that means the protagonist wants to live and the antagonist wants them to die. But sometimes it means that the protagonist wants to give medicine to a sick kid and the antagonist wants to make a living selling medicine. Seems like compatible goals unless the protagonist has no money, right?

Show that your antagonist is the antagonist by showing them in action, thwarting the protagonist’s goals and affirmatively working against them. Don’t get lazy and just make them someone who is mean and hates the protagonist for no reason. As much as we hate to use Harry Potter as an example, Snape isn’t the antagonist. He’s just a character who hates Harry. And he has a reason. It’s not a good reason. But it’s a reason, and it’s in character. And he’s a pretty bad person, for not being “the bad guy,” right? (Yes we can debate that all day, but be prepared to successfully rebut every single one of these points if you want to try it.) Conversely, part of the reason Voldemort becomes a less satisfying antagonist as you grow into an understanding of storytelling is that he’s the antagonist because he’s BAD. He’s just BAD, ok? So bad. Just a Very Bad Guy. He wants Bad Things because he’s Bad. And that right there? That’s lazy writing.

Lazy writing can—and often does—tumble into actively problematic or harmful writing. That is, a lot of the shortcuts we’ve learned over the years are actively in service of reinforcing a set of pretty gross social norms. Racism, homophobia, rape culture, misogyny, they all make an appearance.

Some shortcuts that you definitely shouldn’t be taking to show how bad your bad guys are:

• Racism. Sure, some antagonists are racist. So are a bunch of protagonists. Relying on a bad guy saying un-nuanced racist things to show how bad the bad guy is doesn’t actually establish them as the antagonist. They’re just a racist at that point. So all you’ve done is repeat a bunch of racist things without necessarily furthering your story. Guess how many people are going to put that book down without finishing it?
• Homophobia. (No, you don’t have to make the homophobes be the good guys. That is not at all what we are saying.) See racism. Same issues.
• Sexual assault. There are valid reasons to include assault in a story. Using it to prove how bad your bad guy is? Not one of them. It’s lazy, it can be retraumatizing for readers, and it’s taking up space that you could be using on plot.

Any time you have your character undertake a problematic action that doesn’t further the plot, just to show how bad bad bad they are, you’re going to turn off a whole swath of readers for no good reason. So don’t. Make your antagonists complex and interesting characters with understandable motivations. That doesn’t mean you have to make them likeable. There are, after all, plenty of real people running around the world who aren’t likeable. And it doesn’t mean you can’t have them do terrible things, if that’s what you want to write. Again, there are plenty of real people doing terrible things every day. But you should have a good and defensible reason beyond “they’re bad and I’m proving it” to put those terrible things in your story.

When you see it, say this: There doesn’t seem to be a significant plot reason for [character] to [action]. Let’s brainstorm some ways to either move the plot forward here or demonstrate what you’re trying to show without it. Or both! Both is good!

Fridging

If you’re not familiar with the trope of “fridging” you can follow this link: CW: gendered and sexualized violence in text and images. Or here’s a TL;dr. Fridging, a term coined by author Gail Simone, refers to the act of harming one character, often fatally, to motivate another character. It has most frequently been used in the context of a vulnerable (usually female) character being murdered, which sets the protagonist on (usually his) path along the plot of the book. You can probably think of a long list of fridged characters, and it’s not even spoilers because the action happens so early in the plot. Punisher’s family. John Wick’s dog.

So what’s the issue? This is another point where you’ve failed to treat your characters as people. Traumatizing a character isn’t something that you want to do casually or without showing that there is fallout. And while yes, “hero spends 3 books getting revenge” is fallout, your supporting characters are (or should be) more then just opportunities for the hero to prove how [insert virtue here] they are.

When you see it, say this: This section flattens [fridged character]’s arc and seems pretty reductive. Let’s try to think of a better way to motivate [protagonist] that helps demonstrate their own character and goals, without resorting to trivializing what a lot of your potential readers will have experienced in their lives.

Character building shortcuts that you should take the long way around

This follows directly on fridging because so many of the same tropes are involved. Don’t simply trade traumatizing a side character for traumatizing your main character. (Looking at you, authors of Conan and Red Sonja. Oh, and Joss Whedon, you specifically.) There are more ways to show that a character is strong than to have them throw a punch and survive an assault. Remember that your protagonist is often the character that your readers will identify the most with, so whatever you choose to put them through, you’re asking your readers to experience with them. For people with their own histories of trauma, this can be… you probably think I’m going to say retraumatizing, and yes, it can be that too, but I was going to say boring. If you’re putting traumatic events in your story you’re not necessarily going to get a “ooh how shocking or titillating” reaction. You’re equally likely – if not more likely – to get “oh, this again. meh.”

When you see it, say this: It seems like you’re falling back on some character-building that’s been done frequently, and may bore readers or turn them off the story. Let’s think of some ways to either engage productively with this section if you’re determined to keep it, or discuss other motivations or catalyzing events for your main character.

And as much as we love characters, there are some critical plotting mistakes that are also going to be a nightmare to edit out, aren’t they?

Barely-bent plot twists

We love it: the plot twist. The tornada. The unexpected outcome. But not every plot needs one. And not every twist is actually a twist. In fact, some twists have been done so many times that the real twist is “not using that outcome.” And one twist they’ll always see coming? “Rocks fall, everyone dies.” If you’re struggling to find a satisfying ending to your plot, remember that drama is not the same as emotional satisfaction. Gather a group of beta readers and see what they have to say about your characters, what their hopes are and what they’re afraid of having happen. Use those building blocks to find your ending: it’s ok to very nearly make the feared outcome happen, only to have the satisfying ending occur. Even if it’s not a twist.

Another way you can ruin your plot twists is by the “twist” outcome being the only possible outcome for the story no matter how hard you try to make it seem otherwise. For example, if your main character seems like they’re in deadly peril the entire time, but your reader already knows they’re a recurring character, it’s not a “plot twist” for the outcome to be positive for that character OR negative for another character.

When you see it, say this: This ending feels artificial in the story as told. Let’s look at some other possible outcomes that will still deliver an emotional payoff without making quite such a stretch to be “unexpected.” 

Shock value: CW material that doesn’t move your story forward

We’ve all been there. We’ve picked up a book and read things on its cover like “unflinching” and “dramatic” and “a shocking view of” and “edgy and brilliant” and thought, yeah, it would be cool if that was me. But while edgy material can further a plot, it doesn’t always, and your story or essay or even memoir needs to have more going for it than “well, that was… violent.” If you’re putting in “shocking” material to shock your readers, I have some shocking news for you: they’re not that shocked. Especially if they’re professional editors or agents. Even a gorefest like a schlocky 80’s teen slasher flick has a reason for the gore.

Why is it bad? Well, shock isn’t inherently bad, and keep in mind what genre you’re writing in. But just as there’s a different “scare value” to a jump scare vs that dream you have where something is definitely behind you and you can only move in slow motion, shock isn’t the only way to deliver emotional impact. And if you overuse it, you’ll start to run into narrative issues. In the same way that a well-placed, thoughtful “fuck” can emphasize a point in your speech, a speech that’s a neverending stream of curses will both alienate listeners and, ultimately, obscure your point.

Further, “shock” material (are you getting tired of scare quotes yet? me too. /rbg) can be a really clear signal that your works are meant for some readers and not others. If you’re using people’s real traumas to titillate other readers, you’re probably not doing anything new or interesting.

NONE OF THIS MEANS that you shouldn’t write horror, or gore, or whatever, if that’s the thing you want to write. But it does mean that you should do it mindfully and with an eye to the narrative value of what you choose to put into your story. Know why something is horrible, and which readers it affects, and do something interesting with it if you’re going to put it in there. Otherwise you’ll end up sounding like a child swearing because they know it’ll get a reaction out of the adults.

When you see it, say this: I’m not sure this moves the plot along. Can you explain what you’re trying to accomplish with it? Let’s consider some other options for getting to the same place. 

IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD (again)

If you’re Of a Certain Age or a member of some communities, you’re familiar with This Is Spinal Tap. It’s a fake documentary about a band that never existed. The important thing is that at one point the band is showing the camera some new amplifiers that they bought. They demonstrate the dial. Here’s the transcript:

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and…
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it’s louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it’s one louder, isn’t it? It’s not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You’re on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you’re on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don’t know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don’t you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

The point is, when you’ve gone to ten in your story, where do you go? Save the top range of your dial for the climax of your story, and remember to back it off once in a while. Not every conflict in your story has to be world-ending (looking at you Jim Butcher) and not every emotion has to be paralyzing (whether it’s fear or joy). 

When you see it, say this: This work feels like it reaches its climax too early and then has to sustain that level of intensity. Let’s look for some ways to dial it back early on so that we can use the full range of emotion and action to tell the story. 

In conclusion…

There’s nothing I hate more as an editor than having to tell someone there’s a significant and critical error in their work. But it’s my job, and I’ll do it, even if it hurts us both. Because the finished work is so much better for it.

By being more mindful as a writer, you can save your editor from this pain. And when you encounter these issues as an editor, you can save your clients time and money by drawing their attention to the problem and then having a brainstorming session for fixes…and turning them loose to implement solutions. By showing them the holes in their work and letting them take the first stab at fixing those holes, you can prioritize your time together and ensure they’re getting the most out of your relationship.

Your turn!

Got questions? Let’s continue this conversation in the Coffeehouse on Facebook or Discord. And keep an eye out for the next face-to-face (face-to-Zoom?) meeting of the Scarlet Quill Society on Sunday, April 10 at 2:00 pm US Eastern Time.

Join the Scarlet Quill Society!

Live Scarlet Quill Society meetings take place on the (usually; we’ll warn you!) second Sunday of every month at 2:00 pm U.S. Eastern Time. Each month, paid Society members will receive an email with a link to the Zoom meeting. If not every topic interests you, you can also purchase one-time access passes to each month’s meeting via Ko-Fi. If you can’t make it to the meeting, or you don’t like to speak on camera, you are welcome to submit questions before the meeting that our editors will answer in the meeting.

• $5 one-time access to this month’s Zoom session
• $5 monthly subscription: Access to all the live meetings and recordings as soon as they’re uploaded, as well as a private Discord channel where your topical questions will be answered by YeahWrite editors!
• $3 monthly subscription: Access to the meeting recordings as soon as they’re uploaded, as well as a private Discord channel where your topical questions will be answered by YeahWrite editors!

A week after the meeting, recordings will become available to all at no cost, but if you find them useful we encourage you to leave a tip in our tip jar—it helps keep the lights on over here and allows us to keep bringing you the high-quality workshop content you’ve come to expect from us, as well as acquire some exciting guest panelists.

Rules of Order. Order of Rules. Something like that.

Wondering what the next meeting of the Scarlet Quill Society will be about? Here's our club agenda for the year.

September:

• Read: Editing nonfiction: how much is enough?
• Watch: September meeting

October:

• Read: Line- and copyediting: getting picky
• Watch: October meeting

November:

• Read: Finishing touches and final checklists: more than just spellcheck!
• Watch: November meeting

December:

• Read: DIWhy? what you can (and can't) do yourself
• Watch: December meeting

About the author:

Rowan submitted exactly one piece of microfiction to YeahWrite before being consumed by the editorial darkside. She spent some time working hard as our Submissions Editor before becoming YeahWrite’s Managing Editor in 2016. She was a BlogHer Voice of the Year in 2017 for her work on intersectional feminism, but she suggests you find and follow WOC instead. In real life she’s been at various times an attorney, aerialist, professional knitter, artist, graphic designer (yes, they’re different things), editor, secretary, tailor, and martial artist. It bothers her vaguely that the preceding list isn’t alphabetized, but the Oxford comma makes up for it. She lives in Portlandia with a menagerie which includes at least one other human. She tells lies at textwall and uncomfortable truths at CrossKnit.

rowan@yeahwrite.me

About the author:

About the author:

Rowan submitted exactly one piece of microfiction to YeahWrite before being consumed by the editorial darkside. She spent some time working hard as our Submissions Editor before becoming YeahWrite’s Managing Editor in 2016. She was a BlogHer Voice of the Year in 2017 for her work on intersectional feminism, but she suggests you find and follow WOC instead. In real life she’s been at various times an attorney, aerialist, professional knitter, artist, graphic designer (yes, they’re different things), editor, secretary, tailor, and martial artist. It bothers her vaguely that the preceding list isn’t alphabetized, but the Oxford comma makes up for it. She lives in Portlandia with a menagerie which includes at least one other human. She tells lies at textwall and uncomfortable truths at CrossKnit.

rowan@yeahwrite.me

About the author: