For some reason having absolutely nothing to do with amphetamines, I am all caught up on yeah write #53 preparations, so I have time this week to participate in my friend Stasha’s famous Monday Listicles. The topic is how celebrities are just like us and, judging by Stasha’s list, they seem to be, except I’ll bet in the morning, their babies are brought to them already fed, bathed and dressed and morning is actually sometime around 3 p.m. Well, that applies to more wealthy celebrities, anyway. The ones just scraping by get to wonder along with the rest of us what the hell they’ve gotten themselves into.
So my topic is:
the celebrities on the cover of magazines in the grocery store checkout racks are just like us because
- if we were on the cover of US Weekly, people like me would wonder who the hell we are
- our feelings get hurt when rumors get started about us, especially when, as Wynona Rider once said on The Tonight Show, the rumors are true
- when people call us by our first names like everyone should know who we are, no one knows who were are. Who the hell are Hank and Kendra? I still do not know
- we have no idea how to use tumblr
- we look absolutely terrible without makeup and Photoshop
- we count people we met once at a cocktail party or networking event amongst our closest friends
- unless we have lost our souls, we are horrified when our naked pics get picked up on the home sharing network and transferred to every electronic device in the house including the microwave
- private school tuition is a monthly kick in the nuts
- we, too, have breakfast in bed, but instead of a Continental breakfast, it’s Goldfish crackers and a juice pouch
- we have housekeeping services and a lawn care crew who are cursing us under their breath in Spanish, but ours get paid in an allowance and picked up their second language as a middle school elective
Thanks, Stasha, for hosting and for the hard work you do every week to make your linkup so much fun.
Ha! Love #10!
Ha ha, by 10 you made me LOL. Great list and glad your children are a chance to use that second language.
Or, if you’re me, it’s popcorn and soda in bed for breakfast. Although that’s probably far too glamorous for any celebrity to relate to…
Great list!
I love your LIST! Number ten made me laugh out loud. My oldest is 5, I can’t wait until I can use them for real labor. Not pretend labor like “put your shirt in the hamper.”
Hahaha the last one was cute – nice little twist there!
You know, I think people who I’ve met at networking parties are my closest and dearest friends. What, no? Hum, I may have to rethink my life plan then…
Great list! I don’t know who Hank is, but I will say that I assume any female whose name starts with K is a Kadashian.
Number 10 cracked me up. Having kids became completely worthwhile once they could competently complete unsavory tasks. 🙂 Ellen
Oh. My. God.
I LOVED this.
THE MICROWAVE? Hahahaha!
First names? Hank and Kendra? I’m with you!
THIS WAS HILARIOUS.
So glad you linked up
I think your kids are incredibly well-trained (#10) and you should rent them out to Brangelina to teach that hellion crowd how to behave…and then they can write a tell-all book about their adventures, you can be rich and famous and get on the cover of US.
Just a thought.
This is precisely why we don’t have a microwave! You have fish for breakfast? How posh…
I can’t wait until my kids are old enough to join the workforce in our home. Four is a little too young to operate the lawn mower, but with a step stool, she’s awesome on the stove top! (j/k!)
Fun list!
Haha! Number 10 made me snort out loud because that was our weekend. The big kids got to help with the yard work and cleaning out the garage. I’m sure I heard a few naughty words from the 11 year old. He’s lucky I was already sipping (read: chugging) on the wine so I pretended not to hear. Great list!