Though she took the time to vote, Erica M is away this week, smooching on the cutest white boy ever. I promised we wouldn’t trash the joint in her absence. Let’s get down to business.
Four readers submitted complete yeah write vote-o-rama tracking spreadsheets and their votes, along with three yeah write editors, combined for this week’s jury panel prize. Thanks, guys, for your commitment and hard work.
Real quickly, let’s put your editor scores into perspective. There were seven scoring readers and editors this week. So if you take your total score beneath your thumbnail and divide it by seven, you’ll get an idea of where you landed in the yeah write criteria.
Intangibles, such as a reader’s emotional connection to the theme of the piece, can sometimes override pure numbers and push the reader toward selecting an actual favorite from lower scoring entries. Which is how editors’ picks very often than not come from the middle of the grid instead of the top.
- 12 The author meets all of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
- 10-11 The author meets most of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
- 7-9 The author meets more than half of the criteria for a yeah write submission
- 6 The author meets half of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
- 3-5 The author meets few of the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
- 0-2 The author does not meet the criteria for a winning yeah write submission
[divider_header_h3]Jury prize winner[/divider_header_h3]
Editor 1 liner notes: I love this ode to the bra. Funny. We know she can handle just about any kind of post there is.
Editor 2 liner notes: I see 2 sentences I [w]ould have cut. Used $15 twice.
Editor 3 liner notes: It had all the yeah write elements and, well, you know, Ken Jennings stayed on as Jeopardy champion for a very long time. Nobody was playing favorites, he was consistently beating the competition.
[divider_header_h3]contributing editors picks[/divider_header_h3]
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This week, I’m choosing Pesky Pippi’s “Paradise” as my pick. Even though it didn’t use traditional horror style, it conveyed a strong sense of terror and fear in the “salt-filled whisper” and the panic of the father who sprinted towards the water, toddler in arm. I liked the movement into relaxation, suddenly interrupted by “volume and force” and continuing into panic.
The use of the third person was effective in that it allowed the narrator a certain distance from the events. For further development of the story, I’d strongly suggest sticking with the third person instead of returning to the first person. At the beginning, I found the “sweet family” phrase sticky; at the end, the return to the first person was distracting. It could easily end using a similar image, but in the third person: “Much later, when the woman finally allowed herself to reflect on her near-drowning in Cancun, she still tasted salt water pooling in her throat.” Or some version of that.
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If you want to let your posts meander while still maintaining a story structure, start reading Bill Dameron’s blog “The Authentic Life”. It’s a hard thing to do, yet Bill does it over and over—finding a universal thread upon which to hang his stories and reveal not only his own world, but the larger world to us.
His post this week, “Walk Like a Man”, brilliantly weaves together stories of generations, of coming of age, and of growing into oneself, all through the metaphor of walking. In doing so, Bill elevates his story far above the usual blog anecdote into a revelation about our journeying through life. We travel with Bill through all the roles he has played—all the walks he has tried to fit into—as son, as father, as husband and, finally, as himself. His writing is simple yet inventive and I particularly loved his description of the adult who walks with “the determined gait of someone who had lost sight of magic in the world.” Or his own self-consciousness: “It’s hard to walk naturally when you are consumed with how not to walk.”
Resonant and real, he ends with his own adult walk, which is sure, and his alone.
[divider_header_h3]managing editor’s pick[/divider_header_h3]
[image width=”125″ height=”130″ align=”left” lightbox=”true” caption=”” title=””]https://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/Erica_profile.jpg[/image]
Shock by Kianwi at Simply She Goes
Editor 1 liner notes: very well-paced, kept up with our optional theme of the unexplained, a very strong piece by Kianwi. I love when she’s on the grid.
Editor 2 liner notes: I loved the body description and the discovery of the blood. As they started to giggle (in shock, I know) I got less interested. Not because I wouldn’t giggle, but because I felt like there wasn’t a good telling of their thinking.
Editor 3 liner notes: Nice phrase: past-help legs and not needing-help legs. Quote mark missing. Love the back & forth gallows humor with the cousin. Nicely told – flows, nice pacing, nice revelation at end.
In no particular order, these bloggers were mentioned in the editors’ notes as close runners-up:
$100 Amazon gift card challenge, week one
Since Erica M is traveling, there will be a slight delay on entering all the points from this week’s challenge into the tracker. She’ll tweet and post on Facebook when those points are ready and available for review.
Did you leave a thoughtful comment on all 27 posts? This badge is for you.
Thank you thank you to those of you who braved work hours, firewalls, CAPTCHA and comment moderation to comment on every single one of the 27 posts on the grid.
Please grab that green badge out of the sidebar and display it proudly. You are one of the best parts of yeah write and our community thrives on your enthusiasm.
The thumbnails are now sorted in the grid from most editor points awarded to the least.
In the case of a tie, the thumbnails are additionally sorted by page views. Do not be discouraged if your blog has landed near the bottom of the grid; just getting on the grid is an accomplishment these days. The fun lies in getting better exposure for your blog and in the spirit of competition as incentive to improve your writing and blogging skills. It’s a win-win for everybody involved.
Thanks again, everybody, for linking up, for reading, for accepting the weekly challenge. And for making yeah write the most welcoming spot on the Interwebs for writers who blog and bloggers who write.
Yeah write #79 opens Tuesday. Bring your best stuff. Until then, please stop by Flood’s speakeasy for even more posts to read and enjoy.