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I feel guilt over the weirdest things, then don’t give a second thought to many others.

This will be a strange list, the strangest aspect being that I’m following the prompt at all. I fancy myself quite the rebel.

Guilty pleasures linked up at this week’s Monday listicles over at Stasha’s place:

  1. Correcting your grammar. Pleasures themselves can’t feel guilt; a pleasure can’t be guilty of anything. The phrase should be guilt-filled pleasures. You’re welcome.
  2. Talking in second person in casual conversation, which would drive my 12th grade English teacher batty whenever we, her students, wrote anything in second person. The research intro “When you are an Olympic diver…” would make her wave the offender’s paper in the air and say: “I’m not an Olympic diver and will never be an Olympic diver.” She felt, correctly, that most writers using second person are lazy writers when the point-of-view is not being used as a deliberate stylistic choice.
  3. Being a lazy writer. If I gotta research it, it’s not gonna get written, that’s my motto.
  4. Hey, while I’m still correcting your grammar while lazily using second person: it’s not “you can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” If you have cake, and it’s yours, what’s stopping you from eating it? Who’s stopping you from eating it? The actual phrase is: you can’t eat your cake and have it, too. If you’ve eaten it all, there is nothing left for you to have, so you cannot have it both ways: eating and having. This also applies to mysteriously empty vodka bottles.
  5. Budget-breaking sushi delivery.
  6. Sleeping with my iPad next to me on its own teeny weeny velvet pillow.
  7. Paying top money for well-fitting pants.
  8. Sending my children away so I can nap uninterrupted.
  9. Napping uninterrupted.
  10. Discovering through this post I don’t feel guilt over too many things that bring me pleasure. We have one life. Live it well.

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