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yeah write #65 jury prize winner

by | Jul 13, 2012 | Winners, YeahWrite | 1 comment

[huge]”To become a better writer, be a better reader.” [/huge]

 

[divider_header_h3] What we were looking for [/divider_header_h3]

[toggle_boxed_dark title=”Did your post have one clear idea, the angle, a central conflict, the reason for telling the story?”]There’s got to be a problem, then a problem solved, for there to be a story. You can’t simply list events or detail a conversation.[/toggle_boxed_dark] [toggle_boxed_dark title=”Was the clear idea expressed within the post introduction?”]Get to it. The point.[/toggle_boxed_dark] [toggle_boxed_dark title=”Did your post have a strong and inviting beginning?”]Never attempt to explain to your readers why you’re writing the post, just start writing it. [/toggle_boxed_dark] [toggle_boxed_dark title=”Did your post show your passion for the subject?”]Is it something important to you or just something you wrote?[/toggle_boxed_dark] [toggle_boxed_dark title=”Did you write creatively without clichés and trite phrases?”]Then we kissed your post on the mouth with tongue. [/toggle_boxed_dark] [toggle_boxed_dark title=”Did you take care to properly transition new ideas and subjects within your post?”]If the action was all over the place and we had to read the post twice to get what was happening, we didn’t read it twice, so we don’t know what happened.[/toggle_boxed_dark] [toggle_boxed_dark title=”Did your post have a strong ending that supported your original reason for telling the story?”]Endings are tricky. You can’t just tack one on. The ending should be a natural flow from the conflict to its resolution, even if the resolution isn’t ideal for the protagonist.[/toggle_boxed_dark] 

[divider_header_h3] honorable mentions from the various judges [/divider_header_h3]

On Cat Poland’s Confession of a Little Sister: Excellent job of summing up a 16-year-old girl’s feelings through the eyes of the adult she’s become. It is heartbreaking because we all know what it is like to be a teenager and have to deal with anything that makes us different. The story does not focus on sentimentality nor does it ask for pity. 
On Louise Ducote’s Let’s Go: I read through the story several times and each time I appreciated more the voice and the wonderfully chosen words. Louise even captured Sophie the dog’s voice: She threw him a relaxed, enlightened glance, an informative glance that said: “Oh, it’s you.” That’s good writing.

On Michelle Longo’s There Was a Plan: Michelle captured teenage attitude and ambivalence wonderfully. The see-saw between “I’m definitely going to do this” and “I might wait until tomorrow” gave life and personality to what is often stereotyped in melodrama or apathy. Great job allowing an audience to experience the moment without clouding it in a pull for sympathy or repulsion.
On A Teachable Mom’s Piggy Piggy: This story of a little girl trying to nickel and dime some fairness out of life has a strong child-like voice even though the language is sophisticated in its simplicity. Lines like “I could taste the delicious banana flavor on my tongue as I quietly dug more coins out of the bear’s behind” were not only funny, but true. It was easy to picture the determination of this four-year-old.  

On The Reedster’s Unaccompanied Minor: A study in specific detail, the Reedster’s description of time in an airport used the kind of specificity that opened the story up to the readers, making the mundane relatable and (in this case) really, really funny.
On Write Rinse Blog’s Dry Cleaner Drug Dealer: Stayed true to the writer’s natural style of writing while following the guidelines of the summer series. Witty, entertaining, action-packed from the viewpoint of a nervous teen.
 

[divider_header_h3] Jury prize winner  [/divider_header_h3]

[image width=”190″ height=”183″ align=”left” lightbox=”true” caption=”” title=””] https://yeahwrite.me/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/blueleaf_winner_jury65.png[/image] With four judges participating and two first place votes, this week’s jury selection is A Place of Greater Safety’s Even if he asked the right question.

This was one moment that lasted maybe 10 minutes. With effective dialogue and the tension of the scene set in the opening lines, Greater Safety revealed in very few words a marriage in trouble. She could have told us how hard it is when your partner doesn’t support something you love, and we would have understood. Instead, by focusing on a detail, a specific conversation on a specific night, she dragged us into that moment with her and let us experience that disappointment with her. This post was honest, focused, and impossible to ignore.

Congrats, GS! Please email me your shipping address (and, in confidentiality, your first and last name or acceptable shipping name) so I can send you The Writing Life, this week’s jury prize chosen by Bill Dameron, our yeah write #65 guest editor.

Yeah write #66 opens Monday: blog design for beginning and advanced bloggers edited by Michael Gray of Dear Harrison.




1 Comment

  1. A Place of Greater Safety
    A Place of Greater Safety on [Fri] 13 Jul 12 at 8:38 am

    Wow. Wow. I’m amazed, really amazed, and flattered. Thank you so much to the jury who read all those posts, the guest bloggers, and, of course, Erica. I am absolutely amazed at this community, and I’m so happy I get to participate.

    That sounds to much like some kind of Oscar speech. Don’t worry, I’m writing this while trying to convince my daughter not to eat dog food. No way this is going to my head.

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